well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
