I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
