Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
