So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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