You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
