listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think your dad took our porno
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
