theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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