I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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