Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize