I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
