Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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