I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
