smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
