arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just high enough for therapy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
