when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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