she was so not down for the gang bang
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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