Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
