Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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