quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
