when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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