I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
