So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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