considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
