Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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