he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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