toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
