Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
