This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
