i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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