It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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