mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
