My room smells like vodka and shame
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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