dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
