he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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