It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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