It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
