So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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