hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
