with your own penis?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
