Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
