You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
