you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
