you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
