also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize