why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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