I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
