Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
