You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
