He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize