I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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