stop calling my apartment porn island.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm too high and old for this...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
