BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
