wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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