Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I pour the whiskey from now on
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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