Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
