I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
