I wish my penis had an off switch
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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