It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
