Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
